So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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