would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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