Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
