remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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