I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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