my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
