the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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