i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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