mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
