problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I just sharted jello shots
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