please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
