Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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