i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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