I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
