Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
