her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
