Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
