dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
