it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
