I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
