no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize