We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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