Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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