I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
