She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize