we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
