I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
