Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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