Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
