well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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