Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My ass is underappreciated
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
