Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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