i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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