that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
