But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just had sex bonerless
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
