i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
