You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so much tequila, so little girl.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
