have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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