Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
