Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Pregnant stripper...not hot.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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(248): View more from Michigan

her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

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(810): View more from Michigan

He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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(817): View more from Texas

Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.

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(351): View more from Massachusetts

I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart

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(810): View more from Michigan

You stocked up?

(248): View more from Michigan

No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice

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