So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
