you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
