i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize