I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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