my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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