his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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