hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize