You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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