He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
