i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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