He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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