I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
