is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
