dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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