come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize