I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
