I want to make a zoo with you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
