So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize