shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
