It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
