Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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