that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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