just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We are all done wearing pants today
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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