North Korea, Best Korea!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
