Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize