i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
