Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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