Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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